As the damp mist afternoon subsides the onset of darkness prevails. The thick clouds enter my mind to cover all that is good. Such a familiar melancholy set in. The clouds are a familiar intruder. They visit often. How I long for the sun. Where is the one? God I faintly feel you. Your presence is the only thing that convinces my life to continue. Yet I know she is out there. The Eve to my Adam. She is longing. Thirsty for my infinite agape. The love exists deep within me yet is hidden by sorrow. Deep scars remain from past lovers selfishness. My benevolence misappropriated and neglected. Fill me once again with joy. I lie awake. In a house large enough for 10. Only one resides. I alone. Bruised, rejected, and broken. Medicated. The pills don't appease. The only cure is the most basic of human interaction. Yet the cure is inhibited by the clouds within. Interaction is impossible with the depression. My own demeanor will be ridiculed by those who don't comprehend the darkness. Alas, the cycle continues. The cravings of social inclusion subsides. I make another attempt. The drug of choice is the social network intravenously. It's ineffective because of its synthetic nature. Artificial socialization is merely time consuming euthanasia. Where is the cure? Have you not labored for the answers? My mind contains the combination to the lock on my heart but still the darkness remains. This anguished diary will fall on deaf ears to all who are consumed for business is a tool of the devil. For satan has me by the jugular. I'm in a bad place. Release me.
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